jodyrathgeb

    Book sales can be a little awkward. The author sits there with his or her books, trying not to look anxious or begging. Potential customers smile warily, wanting to acknowledge the writer but avoid a sales pitch. There's an uncomfortable silence as the book is looked over, and an even more uncomfortable parting when the reader decides against buying the book.
    Faced with six hours of this when I participate in the West Virginia Book Faire and Chocolate Festival on Saturday (10-4 p.m. in Martinsburg; see my Events page), I decided to come up with something else to do with the people who visit my table. I'm inviting them to play Island Trivia, choosing a question from the shell-shaped cards I've made. Those who get their question right will get $1 off the price of the book. (I'm also slipping in one "free" card for a single lucky customer.)
    I had so much fun planning this that I want to share it with blog readers. So here are my questions, followed by the answers (don't peek!). I'd love to hear how you did, so please comment with the number you got right.
    I expect certain people to get everything right. And yes, I know that I'm giving away answers to anyone who plans to attend the festival. But so what? The point is to have fun.
    And so, begin.
    Noni is...
        a fruit
        a vegetable
        an old woman
        an old man
    A potcake is...
        an island dog
        a dessert
        a man's belly
        a casserole
    Barbuda is politically connected with...
        Barbados
        Bermuda
        Jamaica
        Antigua
    The Bahamas consists of how many islands, cays and islets?
        700
        3,000+
        7,000+
        12
    The language of Grand Turk is...
        Turkish
        Arabic
        English
        French
    Guava Duff is...
        a Jamaican singer
        a golf club on Grand Bahama
        a dessert
        a casserole
    The Brown Pelican is the national bird of...
        Jamaica
        Bahamas
        Puerto Rico
        Turks & Caicos
    A conch pounder is...
        a premature baby in Key West
        a stick for tenderizing seafood
        a popular drink at the Bitter End Yacht Club
        a type of wave
    What should you do with a sapodilla?
        throw it
        eat it
        make fun of it
        shoot it
    Kalik beer is made in...
        Jamaica
        Bahamas
        Turks & Caicos
        Antigua
OK, now for the answers, in order. Keep your own count, and don't forget to share your results.

a fruit, an island dog, Antigua, 3,000+, English, a dessert, Turks & Caicos, a stick, eat it, Bahamas.

    This is not an obit, but it is a goodbye. "Pops," one of our neighborhood characters, is no longer livening up Shockoe Bottom with his smiles, complaints and occasional panhandling. I heard from the Farmers' Market manager that the old man has had a stroke and his son took him to Baltimore for care.
    "It's a lot quieter around here without him," George commented.
    Indeed. Pops tended to hold conversations with people about a block away, and when he'd been drinking he was even louder. He never wanted to let a conversation end, either. He was annoying, often unintelligible and excessive, and he always made the poorest choices. I enjoyed him immensely.
    He always called me "Gorgeous" and greeted me with a big hug, surprisingly strong for such a skinny guy. In time I learned that his name was Kenny, but on the streets he was known as Pops. He wasn't truly homeless, George told me, but he was halfway there because his wife kept throwing him out when he'd been drinking.
    He'd ask me for money about every fifth time I saw him. He'd say it was for food or medicine, but I knew I was also supporting his drinking. The food wasn't much better for him than booze, anyway - he'd go straight to McDonald's, where he could get something that didn't require much chewing, as he didn't have many teeth left. Sometimes I'd be able to give him tomatoes from the market.
    Yes, Pops sure was a character. And maybe someday, when various aspects of him make their way into my fiction, he'll be appreciated as a character. Some people need to be transferred to a page before we can see the sweetness behind all those obnoxious qualities or the entrepreneur behind the con.
    As a writer I certainly enjoy all the characters in my life, from Pops and the Rose Man in the Bottom to Aggie, Mac Forbes and Johnnie Missick on North Caicos. But they are much more than fictional material. Their larger-than-life personalities, while sometimes (or even often) off-putting, add flavor to our bland everyday lives and remind us that all people are bundles of contradictions, of good and bad, of fortune and misfortune.
    Yeah, Shockoe Bottom is a bit quieter these days. Too bad. I'll miss you, Pops.

    I'll admit I'm not much of a deep thinker. I rarely address the Great Questions or wonder about what preceded the Big Bang, and my writing leans toward the narrow and specific rather than the profound. I'm more likely to do an article on a local artist than an analysis of any art movement. Shallowness has its pleasures.
    But not, I'm afraid, when it comes to travel.
    Am I the only one who's noticed how completely superficial travel writing is these days? It seems impossible for a trip planner or armchair traveler to learn much about any destination beyond the rah-rah of the tourism board. Airline mags, travel sections, niche publications and destination guides are all filled with the same shallow boosterism and cliches that render them worthless. The delicious soup of New Orleans is skimmed for only the jazz and food; Paris is all about romance; Nassau consists of Paradise Island and Bay Street; don't miss the wax museum in Niagara Falls.
    It's just as bad on the other end of the pen, too. I've done a bit of travel writing and found that attempts to go beneath the surface are quickly censored. "Don't mention that place. They're not advertisers." "We can't send people outside of the tourist district." "No side trips - you have a 300-word limit." It's frustrating to write about a place you love and not be able to mention its most offbeat, endearing attractions.
    Because I both write and spend a lot of time in the Turks and Caicos, people often ask me why I'm not doing travel articles about the islands. My response is to comment that first, most publications want to feature only Provo, not any of the other islands. Second, travelers to Provo are funneled into the big resorts, which fiercely try to keep the tourists within their compounds. Woe to the writer who suggests a local bar or restaurant. Even when an out island is mentioned, one must keep it short and touristy - the more superficial, the better.
    So, no thanks. When I read about a destination, I want to know more than what the Chamber of Commerce tells me. And when I write about one, I want to share more than the pretty-picture come-on. I may not be deep, but I'd rather take a swim instead of a wade.