Alas, I will never reach the goal. I topped out at four feet, eleven inches, and I realize now that the Age of Shrinking has begun.
Never. It's such a final word, but when you think about it, there's another side as well. Some nevers are good things, stuff to be thankful about. Other nevers are the wistful type ... oh, it would be nice, but it's never going to happen. With that in mind, I made these lists.
THINGS I'VE NEVER... (and that's just fine)
Been arrested. I'm sure it would make good writing material, but I'm happy to live without the experience.
Gotten a tattoo. I'm slowly getting used to them on others, but I don't want one.
Broken a bone. (See "been arrested.")
Tried Cocaine, heroin, crystal meth or PCP. (Ditto.)
Gone skydiving. I know this is on many people's Bucket List, but it's not on mine.
Paid $500 or more for a pair of shoes. That's my definition of obscenity.
Eaten a bug (knowingly). And now that insect meals are "in," I'm glad I no longer review restaurants.
Killed or physically injured anyone. Definitely an experience I can live without.
THINGS I'LL PROBABLY NEVER... (though it would be nice)
See the aurora borealis. Sure, I could plan a trip to Alaska, but it's cold up there, so unless the light show moves south, I'll probably miss it.
Be skinny. Oh, well.
Be published in The New Yorker. Chances are slim.
Be on The Daily Show. (Ditto.)
Get Jimmy Buffett to endorse my novel. Oh, I've tried. Failed.
Have a conversation in English (or Cat) with my cats. I don't think universal translators go that far.
That's my list. How about yours? I'd love to hear the nevers of others!
Finally, I noticed here that my first group of nevers is slightly longer than the second. Negativity, it appears, does have its rewards.