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Valediction

3/26/2021

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This is my last blog post for Beyond the Parrot Paradise. After 2 ½ years of writing about island living, it’s time to say goodbye.
Part of the reason is that the recent death of Clifford Gardiner has knocked the stuffing out of me. More about that later. Mostly, though, I’m stopping the blog because the “island living” I write about is quickly moving into the past. I don’t want to become some raving oldster on a park bench screaming, “That’s not how we did it in the old days!” Well, at least not publicly.
Beyond the Parrot Paradise was meant to share the experiences of living in an island community that was not yet developed into a tourist destination with big resorts and enterprises catering to those who have ad-manufactured ideas about what constitutes “paradise.” And it was always North Caicos, though some of the comments also applied to other places. Along the way, I also threw in some of my raving oldster opinions: disliking air conditioning, dissing dishwashers and clothes dryers, distrusting those big developers who would destroy a real place to create a fantasy “tropical” mishmash. I loved the feedback and hoped that the blog would make others think about their own expectations and motives in seeking out life on the island.
The blogs were certainly based on my own experiences, but they were also inspired by many conversations with belongers, especially Clifford, who helped me adjust to island life and told me so much about the “old days” on the island. In fact, one of Clifford’s many ideas was to bring to life those old days in a resort that would be 180 degrees from all those Provo luxury high-rises. He wanted to create a place that would immerse guests in the island’s past: staying in thatched cottages, dipping water from a barrel, grinding their own grits, fishing with a hand-line. All the modern comforts would be hidden in his historic village.
Many of Clifford’s dreams—becoming a pilot, Pelican Beach Hotel, Barracuda Beach Bar—came true, but not this one. He ran out of resources, energy and time. But another reason it didn’t happen was that the times were changing. Provo’s boom is echoing across the waters, and new tourists and residents are coming to North not for itself and its community, but for luxury and pampering. They expect every convenience and aren’t interested in knowing the more complicated realities of island life. Rather than getting away from it all, they want to bring it all with them.
These new times render Beyond the Parrot Paradise irrelevant. Writings about island improvisations and living with lightness and simplicity don’t mean much except to a handful of people. Those who come for the weather, pampering and “the good life” aren’t much interested in the community that has existed for years, or in adapting to that community.
And so it is time to say goodbye. I still love you, North Caicos, but it’s time to go beyond Beyond the Parrot Paradise.
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Chain 'Mail'

3/8/2020

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Sandy Point resident David Kennedy recently shared with me an “island thing” that I find totally charming. It seems that Ralph and Brenda Wilcke of Bottle Creek realized that three of their friends would be noting birthdays in quick succession. They had one birthday card, and the idea that North Caicos has a Hallmark shop elicits maniacal laughter, so they started a chain card. Kim passed it on to Arturo, who passed it on to Randy.
 
I love it! While cards are becoming obsolete elsewhere, replaced by JibJab emails and Facebook greetings, North Caicos reinvents the custom with an even-more-personal touch, since there is not only a scarcity of cards but also the non-existence of mail service. Bravo, Ralph and Brenda.
 
Perhaps I am so taken by this bit of island-ness because I’m such a softie for paper and office products, yet I recognize their incompatibility with island life. Tom and I have an office drawer full of business envelopes that we shipped to North Caicos in 2007, now all sealed shut. (We hadn’t learned to prep them with waxed paper buffers before keeping them in the humidity.) We also have oodles of rusted paper clips and staples, rubber bands that disintegrate when stretched, and a collection of dried-up ink cartridges for printers that died long ago. Paper, stored in plastic bins, fares better, but about most office supplies I would say ix-nay on orage-stay. Don’t bring/buy more than you’re going to need soon.
 
And accept the fact that when you do need it, you probably won’t have it. Best to wander over to your neighbor’s house to see if he/she has a spare paper clip.
 
There’s the charm of it all. Island life is all about community, even when it comes to paper clips and birthday cards. Ain’t it grand?
 
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Survival Kit

2/23/2020

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Picture
 
There is much on Facebook to scowl about, but also much to laugh about. One example of the latter is this photo, showing Rita Shaw of Middle and Patti DesLauriers of North trying to open a wine bottle while waiting at Bellefield Landing for the My Girl ferry.
 
The photo is very Island except for one thing: These women both live there, and neither one has learned to always carry a corkscrew?
 
OK, I’ll give them this one. After a while, you start to think of island life as normal, forgetting the lessons learned when it was still Adventure Travel. If they had been going somewhere more unfamiliar than Provo, I’m sure they would have taken a survival kit, with corkscrew.
 
Still, continued use of a survival kit isn’t a bad idea. It’s less likely that you’ll get stuck on Provo overnight, as sometimes occurred in the days of the InterIsland Airways chaos, but being prepared for the unexpected or for some roughing it can save you money and your sanity.
 
Even if the plan is only for a day, here are some things I carry to Provo that I don’t bother with when running around on North Caicos:
 
Wallet with both cash and multiple credit cards. This saved me once when the Do-It Center’s system was taking American Express only.
 
Passport. If your day involves a bank or a government office, you may need it for ID.
 
Small, collapsible cooler. Sometimes the itinerary puts the grocery store stop earlier rather than later.
 
Swiss Army knife or some other combo tool with, yes, a corkscrew and bottle opener. No explanation needed.
 
Toilet paper. Not every restroom is well-equipped, and you often discover that too late. You don’t need to carry a whole roll, but some squares in a baggie just might save you some unpleasantness. Related item: Wet wipes.
 
My TCI black book. Less Luddite folks will be OK with their phones, I’m sure.
 
Off! Yes, there are fewer mosquitoes on Provo than on our islands, but even they have their days. Besides, you’ll likely be spending at least some time at Bellefield or Sandy Point.
 
And, depending on recent weather, a folding umbrella. If you have a lot of errands and need to make a ferry, you don’t want to waste time sitting in a parking lot waiting for a cloudburst to move away.
 
One thing I stopped taking along but probably shouldn’t have done is a towel. Yes, I stole the idea from Douglas Adams’ “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” but a towel really is most useful as a cushion, packing material, pillow during long waits, and yes, a towel. Once, when I went to South Caicos not knowing if I would make it back in one day, I’m sure my towel saved me from sunstroke as I sat on the back of Ba Parker’s boat, trying to stay out of the way while he and his crew filled the hold with conch. It also wiped my face after I threw up from the heat, ocean motion and smell of conch. And I needed it as a pillow in my spartan overnight accommodations on South.
 
Yeah. We might be all, We’re A Major Tourist Destination Now, but in truth no matter where you go in the TCI it’s still closer to Adventure Travel, so I think we should all continue to pack our survival kits for day trips. Because you never know.
 
 

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Gilley's, Then and Now

2/16/2020

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Years ago, when Gilley’s Bar & Restaurant had neither AC nor TV and the airport was Provo’s prime spot for gathering island news and gossip, I used to think it would make a great slice-of-island-life documentary to just sit there a whole day, soaking up all the hailings, the bickerings and any island intrigue.

Then I moved to North Caicos, and learned that a day on Provo could and should never be wasted in such a manner. Because planes from North moved only in the early morning, noon and late afternoon, the only way to get all the errands done (the bank line alone took half a day) was to go early and come back late. For me, that meant a lot of hanging out at Gilley’s in the morning, waiting for my rental car, since nearly nothing opened on Provo until after 9 a.m. Then there was a lot of hanging out in the late afternoon, waiting for a plane that almost never, ever left on time.

The process was not at all what I’d imagined and so annoying that I no longer cared about eavesdropping on the guys at the bar or figuring out a story for the lone figure hunched over his rice & peas. So much for that idea.

As Provo got busier, the airport got bigger, and much of the local traffic shifted to the ferry, Gilley’s became less of a local hangout and more focused on the travelers pulsing through on a daily basis. Like those travelers, we visit only in transit. Yet the place still has a vibe that recalls the old days of pilots running air taxis and grabbing a beer to take with you.

Maybe it’s the unspoken self-arrangement of customers. Airport workers tend to take places at the back of the restaurant, it seems—perhaps getting as far away from their work as they can while on break? Other local workers find a spot at the bar and order takeout. The rest of the space goes to travelers … usually people who are frequent visitors rather than the tourists who zip through to the international departure area and the offerings there.

Tom and I always take a booth near the window so we can watch the airport parade as well as the Gilley groups. Servers who have been there a while recognize us and know that we don’t use the menu. We know what we want. It’s not exactly the “old” Gilley’s, but it’s still comfortable like a neighborhood bar.

Provo keeps changing, its “top tourist destination” pride pushing at the local places and in some cases pushing them aside. High-end restaurants and even chains are creating a division between local places and tourist spots. That’s too bad, because much of the charm of the Turks and Caicos that I first visited was the mingling of the two. Gilley’s on this side of the airport still has it, even if Provo now has little time for long afternoon breaks at the bar arguing about politics and boats. Each time we visit on our way out, we drink to the continuation of that charm.
 
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Happy New Year, North Caicos

1/5/2020

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Happy new year, North Caicos.
 
An island doesn’t give a fig (or mango) about such silly human constructs as the number of years. Its renewal happens every day with new dawns, new waves and whatever weather comes its way. I, however, am one of those silly humans, so I wish North Caicos Island a happy 2020, plus a bunch of other wishes. North Caicos, for this year I wish you…
 
…a gentle hurricane season, with enough rain to keep you happy but no flooding or over-the-top winds.
 
…travelers, not tourists.
 
…just enough visitors to keep your businesses prosperous, but not too many, please.
 
…continued freedom from crime and violence.
 
…new homeowners who will care about and for you and your people.
 
…some development, but reasonable and sustainable plans, not wild money schemes.
 
…statesmen and public servants, not just politicians.
 
…clean, healthy reefs.
 
…free, natural beaches, unfettered by silly human structures and unspoiled by silly disrespectful humans.
 
…a continuation of your cultural traditions and a young generation who will understand and carry on those traditions.
 
North Caicos, I wish you balance, diversity and harmony in 2020.
 

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Civic Engagement

12/15/2019

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Picture

‘Tis the season for all sorts of civic events, from tree lightings and illuminations to parades and customer appreciation parties, no matter where you are.
 
Here in Richmond in just one week, Tom and I went to Shockoe Illuminate, the unveiling of a new statue at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, and the Richmond Mounted Police Squad blessing of the animals. On North and Middle Caicos, there have recently been tree lightings, the opening of new clinics, and the first round of holiday parties.
 
My suggestion: Go often and happily. It’s good for you, and good for your community.
 
When we first moved to Richmond, I soon got a gig as a restaurant reviewer. Wanting to remain anonymous and unrecognized, we joined no groups and made no connections. Work went well, but it was a hermetic existence. It was only after moving back, into a city neighborhood, that we began participating in civic life. I think we’re better for it. Going to grand openings, rallies, open houses and holiday events keeps us informed and connected to the people around us.
 
This type of connection is even more important in a place like North or Middle. It’s your signal that your love for the island is more than “I love the beach” or “I love the sanctuary we built.” It says, “Hi, we’re neighbors, not just passing through. We care about this place.”
 
In return, you will learn more about your adopted home, even if it’s home only a few months a year. You’ll meet people, connect the cousin dots and begin to figure out the politics, the long-time feuds and who best to contact when you need help. Because eventually, you will need help.
 
You won’t love everyone, nor will everyone love you. It’s a small place, but it’s not a Hallmark movie. And you’ll find enough to be irritated about. Events seldom start on time, you might find the music too loud, and you’ll notice cliques. I find the “protocol having been established” section of the remarks to be tedious, but in an odd way I also expect and look forward to them.
 
Still, go. Go even when no one is serving drinks, when it seems that no one greets you, when all the food is scarfed up before you reach the table. If this is truly your place, it’s okay. And trust me, you’ll reach a new place, your place, in island living.
(Accompanying photo of preparations for the Kew tree lighting courtesy of Patti DesLauriers.)
 


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Homework

9/29/2019

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Last week, when we were having fun at the expense of those who expect North Caicos to be what it isn’t, one of your reader comments stuck with me. It was the one about visitors who don’t do their homework before coming to a place like North or Middle.
 
I think it’s true that many travelers do little research before packing their bags for anywhere, but I wonder if their lack of information is entirely their fault. I decided to look into what’s out there.
 
My own experience is inapplicable. Our first trip to North happened before the world was so connected, and our “research” was a mention in a travel magazine and a brochure that Susie Gardiner sent to me after I wrote to her. Yes, “wrote” and “sent,” as in the U.S. Postal Service and the Royal Mail.
 
Everything is different today, when all you have to do is Google a name or ask a question on your social media platform. But what kind of information are potential visitors getting when they just ask Siri or Alexa? I decided to find out, and opened up a world of misinformation.
 
When I search for “North Caicos vacation rentals,” I got a lot of hits. But tcvillas.com, near the top of the list, specializes in Provo only, and turksandcaicosvillarental.com has nothing on North or Middle. I had better luck finding places to stay by visiting Airbnb and VRBO (Vacation Rental by Owner), but the Q&A section of vrbo.com had my jaw dropping in disbelief. Some examples:
 
Listed among “the most popular destinations to visit in North Caicos” is Parrot Cay. Yes, folks, a different island entirely is “in” North Caicos!
 
More: In the list under “the cities [!] with the largest selection of vacation rentals for a holiday trip or just for a weekend in North Caicos” are Parrot Cay, with 215 rentals, and Grace Bay, with 865 rentals. And there in answer to “Can I find easy-access vacation rentals when traveling by plane to North Caicos?” is North Caicos Airport. Finally, among the points of interest in North Caicos are, I kid you not, Fort George Cay, Sapodilla Bay and Turtle Cove. No wonder people arrive and have no idea where they are!
 
If people stumble their way to visittci.com, which is under the wing of the government tourist board, they will get better information, but some areas of the site are outdated and some info contradictory. The airports on North and Middle are on a list in one place, for example, while another place tells you there are no flights. The site tells you the Middle Caicos Co-op store is still in Conch Bar, beside Daniel’s Café. And stores and restaurants that have been around for years simply don’t show up.
 
These sites are eye-openers for anyone who lives or North or Middle, runs a business there or has regular contact with visitors to the islands. It’s hard to “keep it real” when there so much bad info out there. It seems the burden is on us to better manage tourist expectations.
 
There are some things we can do to improve the information offered to those who are trying to do their homework. First, let’s make sure our own websites and platforms are accurate and up to date. If you list hours, make sure you keep them. If you open and close your place only when you feel like it, be honest!
 
Once you clean up your own yard, badger your neighbors about theirs. If a site you use to get business has misinformation, tell them! And know that you’ll have to keep at it. For years after I took down my Aloe House website, it was still showing up in TCI information as a rental. It took many phone calls and a sharp comment in a public meeting to correct; meanwhile, the government still lists my former business license as in arrears!
 
It may not seem fair that we have to take on this job. But if we want tourists to do their homework, let’s give them some proper textbooks.
 

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Global Warning

9/8/2019

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As I sit down to write, Dorian is a post-tropical cyclone over the east gulf of the St. Lawrence River in Canada. It seems like forever ago it was swirling across the Atlantic toward the Turks and Caicos.
 
And it was “forever ago,” in terms of U.S. weather interests. When my sister called recently to ask if I was worried about our place on North, I had to laugh and tell her that the hurricane passed us a week ago. As I’ve noted before, there is a lag between when hurricanes threaten the Caribbean and when most Americans even notice them. It isn’t until you are a resident or frequent visitor and are monitoring storms through the season that you realize the lag exists.
 
It’s a little weird. Dorian was still bearing down on the U.S. coast, and I was trying to find out about damage to the Bahamas. People around me were concerned about Florida and the Outer Banks, but as far as I was concerned, it was over. The U.S., I reasoned, with that large inland mass, could handle it, but low-lying islands, already devastated, needed the attention more. Was I a bad person, I wondered, because my reaction to the states of emergency being declared in advance was, “Yeah, yeah, deal with it”?
 
It’s natural to worry about geologic and weather events more when they are close to you, but we need to recognize that these are global events, not limited to the maps of what we see as “home.” It is only when we expand our views on “home” that we can see and understand that natural disasters affect us all, even if we are miles away from the fire, tsunami or volcanic eruption. Leaders and nationalist thinkers do us a disservice when they make us believe that we can be isolated from the rest of the world.
 
Dorian did damage in a number of places. If we look only at our own places, we come away either crying or relieved that we “dodged a bullet.” But when we look at a bigger picture, “we” all lost, if not in losing loved ones or property, then in the stability of the planet we all call home.
 
The Dorian threat was long ago over for those of us in the Turks and Caicos. But look what happened in The Bahamas. That is where there is the most human need. Not property need, human need. We need to step up for our neighbors, because it could have been us, and we all need more than a few paper towels to save our world.
 
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Dustmud and Potcakes

9/1/2019

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Dustmud and Potcakes
 
It was Doing Floors day at our apartment, and the temps were in the humid 90s. I was trying to do the Swiffer Wet part, but I kept dripping sweat onto the clean floor. “This is as bad as trying to sweep on North Caicos, when you just keep making dustmud,” I complained.
 
And just like that the word was coined. It’s not terribly creative, but dustmud describes a cleaning problem for anyone with an island home. (Except the wimps who insist on central air!)
 
My “creation” got me thinking about other words—real words, not makeups—that I wouldn’t know if I hadn’t spent time in the islands. So here is the beginning of a vocabulary list for North Caicos, starting with some relatives of dustmud.
 
Muddy: Used to describe seawater that has been churned up and made cloudy. “I couldn’t get any lobster today. It’s too muddy.”
 
Mud: Mortar for stonework. “We’ll put the patio here. Can we use that spot to mix the mud?”
 
Potcake: Island dog of non-breed heritage; what dogs are when humans don’t intervene in their breeding. “Potcakes won’t chase balls, but they’ll eat just about anything.”
 
Crawfish: Another reference to rock lobster, or spiny lobster. “When Dar started fishing, she concentrated on crawfish.”
 
Jumby: A ghost or spirit who is in between life and the afterlife. “In Jamaica, they call them duppies, but here we say jumby.”
 
Gullywash: A delicious drink of fresh coconut water, gin and sweetened condensed milk, with a little nutmeg, named for its milky color reminiscent of a flooded limestone wash. “Welcome! Have some rum punch, or some gullywash.”
 
Paw-paw: Papaya. “Mama said to pick some paw-paw for her.”
 
Monkeybag: Rum of inferior or questionable quality. “Gimme some real rum, not that monkeybag!”
 
Curry: Not a spice, but limestone dust and small rocks from a quarry. “I have a gravel yard, but my driveway is curry.” (Yes, David, it is just a local pronunciation of “quarry,” but just think of the strange looks you get when you actually say “quarry” instead!)
 
Reach: Not an actual vocabulary word, but an idiom that uses the word in a particular way. “I thought I’d get my order today, but the boat didn’t reach.” Also, “I soon reach,” both a common promise and the name of another delicious drink, the light lager of Turks Head Brewing.
 
Are there any more? Please add your own “words I never heard or used before North Caicos,” and maybe we’ll put together our own dictionary!
 
 
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Not Cool

8/26/2019

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Many people who follow this blog will have seen it by now: A video of three people who trespassed on private property on North Caicos, using the swimming pool until they discovered the security camera.
 
Even though two of the people can clearly be identified as Whitby property owners, not tourists, the pool owners are declining to confront the trespassers. This is both gallant and ironic, given that the offending couple were among the first on North to post a “Private Property” sign on their deck and don’t hesitate to chase others away, even those using the PUBLIC beach in front of their property. (Apparently, they also think they own the ocean there; we were once asked not too anchor our boat in front of their place.)
 
So maybe it’s time to review a few things about property and living on the island.
 
First and foremost, no individual owns the beach anywhere. Beaches are public property. And if you have land “on” the beach, you actually own the land just up to the normal high-water mark, no further.
 
To get to that public beach, there are designated beach access roads. Don’t know where they are? Find out. Tourists, I know, seldom know any of this, and will sometimes tromp right over private land to get to the beach. Often it’s no biggie, but it can be a problem if, say, tour guides (who should know better) say, “Oh, just go over there.” In my perfect TCI world, beach access roads would be marked as such, but I’m in no position to tell the government what to do.
 
For a long time, most homeowners were pretty casual about “protecting” their private property. I’ve stood on other people’s porches when caught in the rain on a beach walk and haven’t minded our yard being a shortcut between Point A and Point B. Lovey has not minded his neighbors using the picnic tables and hammocks at his place. It was all … well, neighborly.
 
More recently, though, there has been abuse of that laid-back attitude, from both tourists and residents. People leave trash. They drag porch furniture out to the beach, then leave it there to be swept away. They use toilet facilities in restaurants where they purchase nothing. And now, apparently, they’re helping themselves to things that others have worked hard to place or purchase.
 
This all makes me so sad. I don’t want to see a North Caicos bristling with fences and “No Trespassing” signs and gates. Nor do I want to see local businesses and homeowners being taken advantage of.
 
Is it too idealistic to ask for courtesy and respect, and to ask anyone dealing with visitors to pass on the expectation of those virtues? Is it?
 
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    This blog by Jody Rathgeb existed, on and off, from 2012 to 2020, changing focus  several times over the years. Its last iteration, with a focus on island living, was also posted on Facebook as Beyond the Parrot Paradise.

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