You're Very North Caicos...

A while back, Richmond, Va., had some fun with its self-image in a number of “You’re Very Richmond…” contests. The idea was to gently skewer the local scene with funny stereotypes.
Examples:
You’re Very Richmond if … you ride your bike to Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.
…you know how to pronounce Powhite and spell Quiocassin.
…the American Civil War is STILL “the late unpleasantness.”
Well, I think North Caicos can do better. Let’s play! Some of these could refer to multiple islands, but others are specific. Sooooo…
You’re Very North Caicos if…

• Few people know your real name but everyone knows your nickname (right, Speed? Whoop? Poacher?).
  
• There’s a piece of tape over the “check engine” light in your car.
• You’ve fainted at a funeral, or helped to carry out a fainter.
• You know where to find a domino game at any time of the day.
• A good party always involves a bag of green corn and an open fire.
• You used to work at the Prospect.
  
• You refer to local politicians by first names or nicknames (Washy, Gilley, Mike, Ralph, Rufus), but you refer to the governor only as “the governor,” because they change, you know.
• A FLOW phone dings on Thursday, and you yell, “Fish Fry!”
• You know where to get a beer for $3 or less.
• You have two or more jobs or businesses.
• “Shopping” is a day on East Bay Cay.
• You still comment that a slowpoke “drives like Johnny Missick.”
• Grocery trips require stops at five stores, and you refer to them by their owners rather than the store names.
• You have at least one relative who is the pastor of a church.
• You think a trip to Provo is a trial, not a treat.
• You’ve stood on a roof to get a cellphone signal.
• You lost money at TCI Bank.
• A meal isn’t a meal unless there’s rice and peas.

Readers, you can keep this going. Comment if you have a good one.